Etiquette for Booking Escorts: A Guide for All Clients interested in booking Sex Workers
When you are thinking about making a booking a sex worker. Regardless if they are an escort, erotic massage provider, or BDSM professional. it is incredibly important to approach the interaction with respect, courtesy, and a clear understanding of boundaries. Good etiquette can set the tone for a positive experience and helps foster mutual respect. Here are some of my essential tips for ensuring you make the right impression and book with ease.
Do your own research
Before contacting any provider, take the time to thoroughly read their ad or website. Pay attention to their services, rates, availability, location, and any other specific requirements or rules they list. This ensures that you choose someone who is the right fit for you and avoids wasting their time with questions already answered in their ad. Often our phones are absolutely full of messages like “u avail” -“hello” “hey sexy”. These messages can be incredibly frustrating and administratively draining when we are trying to get even the basic information from a client to get the booking process going smoothly.
Respect their screening and booking process.
Many sex workers have a screening process for safety reasons, which may include verifying your identity, references or requiring a deposit. Each sex worker will have different policies. It is incredibly important to respect these requirements and provide any requested information promptly. Failing to comply with their procedures could lead to a declined booking. If you are unwilling to do the required screening. It is respectful to decide not to contact that escort and find another one that suits your screening capabilities.
Be clear and concise.
When reaching out to a provider, introduce yourself politely and include the necessary details, such as your name, the date and time you’re interested in, and the type of service you are seeking. Avoid using explicit language or being overly familiar in your initial contact; keep it professional and respectful. You should absolutely never send a dick pic and you should only send a selfie to a sex worker if it is in their booking requirements or they have asked you for one.
An example of a close to perfect message would be as follows. Including all the required information in the first message is an almost foolproof way of securing a booking.
Hello Avery,
My name is Mike Hunt from Melbourne.
I am looking at securing a booking with you on the 25th October at 2pm for 1 hour.
I would love to experience your milking table massage and especially want to try bodyslides.
I would like to see you for an incall at Studio Honey’s in Somerton.
Does this time and date work for you?
I am ready to pay your $50 deposit by transfer.Thank you,
Mike
Understand Deposit Policies
Many providers require a deposit to secure your booking, especially for longer sessions or outcalls. Deposits are standard practice for ensuring commitment from both parties. Be prepared to pay a deposit if requested, and choose discreet payment methods that respect both your privacy and the provider's preferences. Ensure you pay promptly. Most sex workers will get irritated if you drag it out and wait until “next week” to pay deposits. It creates additional administration that isn’t necessary.
If deposits make you uncomfortable because of scams. You should do your research on the sex worker you have chosen to verify they are legitimate. You should never contact a sex worker and ask them to do cash only when they have a boundary set clearly. The deposit is a safety mechanism and trying to circumvent they makes you look dangerous and that you don't respect their professional boundaries.
Don’t haggle or attempt to negotiate.
Sex workers set their rates based on their time, skills, and experience, and these are non-negotiable. Attempting to haggle or ask for discounts can be seen as incredibly disrespectful. If a certain provider's rates are outside your budget, look for someone whose rates fit within your range. You don't have to agree with the prices but sex worker pricing is very individual. If you aren't willing to pay the rates listed, you need to go elsewhere or save your pennies
Respect Boundaries and Service Offerings
Every provider has limits on what they will and won’t do. These boundaries should be outlined in their ad or discussed during the booking process. Never push for services that are not explicitly offered or suggest something that crosses their limits. Consent is essential, and respecting a provider's boundaries is a fundamental part of good etiquette. Repeatedly begging for something that you've been told no to is coercive and entirely inappropriate. It can also make sessions really draining and awkward for the sex worker.
Arrive on time
Punctuality is crucial. Arriving on time shows respect for the provider's schedule. If you're running late or need to cancel, inform the provider as soon as possible. Sex workers, especially when they are on tour may have tight schedules. Sometimes showing up even 15 minutes late could result in your booking being cancelled or rescheduled. Some may also request a late or cancellation fee.
Showering and Hygiene
Being clean and prepared for the session is very important. It also appreciated and often expected, especially in intimate sessions. Even if you've showered 20 minutes ago. Sex workers will still require you to shower again to remove any lint or sweat just before the session. Don't argue about this because it's very awkward. Just hop in and wash up.
You must also be aware that certain services may not be available to you if you have paraphimosis or phimosis. Which is when the foreskin cannot be rolled down or up. This can be very smelly and often have smegma that is impossible to wash properly. You need to manage your expectations if this applies to you.
Handling Cancellations and Rescheduling Gracefully
If you need to cancel, do so well in advance and understand the provider's cancellation policy. Many providers have non-refundable deposits or fees for last-minute cancellations, as they are losing potential income. If rescheduling is an option, inquire politely and offer an alternative date and time. Be aware that cancelling could be significantly impacting a sex workers income. Especially if they are touring and it's a last minute cancellation. If a sex worker cancels on you. A deposit is usually done via the sex workers preferred method. Depending on the reason for the cancellation. There may be a bit of a wait on the refund. Be patient and respectful.
Respect your escorts privacy and discretion.
Sex workers value privacy and discretion, both for themselves and their clients. Never ask for personal details that go beyond what is needed for the booking. Avoid trying to “get to know” the provider on a personal level unless they indicate they are open to such interactions. Similarly, don’t share details about the session publicly without their consent.
Show appreciation, Avoid overstepping.
It’s perfectly fine to express appreciation for a good experience, but avoid being overly familiar or sending unsolicited pre session or follow-up messages. Providers are professionals, and it’s important to respect their personal boundaries. Excessive or even intermittent texting from clients between sessions creates additional admistration and can cause a breakdown in the committment. You should only message your escort between sessions if it is very important.
Understand the differences between services.
Each type of sex work comes with its own norms and etiquette. For example, booking a BDSM professional might involve a pre-session discussion about kinks and boundaries, while an erotic massage provider may have specific rules about mutual touch or communication during the session. Understand these differences and follow the expectations set out for the particular service. You should NEVER try and negotiate different services if someone is clear about their boundaries you should respect it.
So you still need some help?
You've read this post but still feel overwhelmed, lost and confused. I have a a dear friend, Krissy Smith who has crafted some amazing sessions called “Lessons for Escort Clients”. This service addresses a common problem in the escort industry: clients not taking the time to read ads or websites thoroughly before reaching out to a provider. Krissy has observed that many clients hastily contact escorts based on photos alone, often leading to mismatches in expectations regarding services, availability, or budget.
To bridge this gap, she offers comprehensive lessons that teach clients how to effectively read escort ads and websites, find suitable providers, and make confident, informed bookings.
Her lessons cater to different levels of need, from a quick 30 minute session for basic guidance to a detailed longer 60 to 90 minute lessons for a deeper dive into finding the perfect escort.
Each lesson includes personalized assistance in navigating escort ads, tips on setting up discreet deposits, and advice on approaching providers. Krissy also helps clients manage expectations, ensuring they understand what to anticipate from the session and how to make a positive impression.
